


A Chance Encounter

by Harleyquilt



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 17:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19873222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harleyquilt/pseuds/Harleyquilt
Summary: What if it was Touka who fought Haise, instead of Nishiki? How will Haise be able to face the reality that was once his past?





	A Chance Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> A short fic based on a canon divergent, touken prompt from an anon ask. I hope you enjoy it. 

She stood, high up on a lone lamppost with a white Rabbit mask covering her face. An ukaku burst forth from her back with a vibrant mix of colours that continuously shifted and changed. It was, for Haise, like an enraged, fiery flame. She had leaped towards Haise, her kagune slicing through his side before he could react. It wasn’t fatal, but it was enough to knock him down and she darted away before he was able to stand back up. Haise held up his quinque, his hands trembling. There was something about her that struck him as odd. No, odd wasn’t the word - it was more like an uncomfortable thought that rattled in his mind. A scratching at the back of his head that persisted throughout their battle. He knew his one priority was to protect his squad, yet he was constantly left baffled and startled whenever the Rabbit ghoul came near.

She was indeed fast, as fast as she was skilled. Haise knew there was a Rabbit ghoul in Aogiri, so perhaps that was the reasoning for the vague sense of familiarity he felt. And yet, she seemed different. Her attacks were more careful, less complex even. Whenever he attacked, she’d simply dodge. She struck him multiple times and out of desperation, Haise ended up releasing his own kagune, despite the paranoia and fear that often held him back. 

After Haise took this risk, the fight only grew more intense. Her stamina was higher than most ukakus, so she was clearly more talented than that of regular ghouls. She sent a flurry of attacks at the tendrils he sent with his rinkaku and when he neared, she simply leaned and leapt away from the swipes of his quinque. All the while, she spoke not a word, silently taunting him with this continued battle.

However, she eventually grew tired and she stumbled back after a final dodge. Taking this opportunity, he raised yukimura with the intention of finally putting her out of commission. It was then, however, that his past self’s voice started to intrude and he forced himself into Haise’s thoughts. With a sharp, coarse whisper, he hesitated.

Don’t.

With this brief pause, the ghoul turned to run, but Haise regained control and swiped down, the blade cutting through her back. She fell forward and she skidded across the ground, her mask dropping a small distance away. He pinned her down, breathing heavily. His limbs were now shaking, from both tiredness and fear. His words grew louder in Haise’s mind and there was some urgency and desperation in his actions when he turned her to face him. 

He gasped, his eyes widened and his body was still. He found himself uttering a name, a name he wasn’t sure of. It slipped out, almost subconsciously, and he watched, with tears in his eyes, at the beautifully despaired smile the Rabbit ghoul offered. 

“I’m sorry, Kaneki.” Her voice was soft and it twisted his heart to hear it, like a knife being plunged into his chest. She reached up for a moment - perhaps to wipe away the tears that were rolling down his cheeks - before she pulled her hand back. 

Haise took a step back, his head bowed and his hand violently grabbed his head. His breathing grew heavy as a heavy weight pressed against his mind. Who was she? What was the name he had just spoken? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure and it pained him all the more. The mess of his own thoughts started to consume him and he cried out, the figure before him blurring. The world turned red and nothing seemed clear anymore. And all the while, a deep throbbing pulsated from his back, a sharp sensation coursing through his body. He raised his head and-

And that was it. He was put down by Take’s squad and Akira and spent the rest of the day recovering. It had been a few days now since that event and still, he was left just as shaken as he was during that moment. Her face, that expression - it all seemed like a faint memory now, but he was eager, no desperate, to remember it again. Her name was something he couldn’t recall, no matter how much he tried. If he asked the others, they’d simply suspect his relationship with the ghoul. Perhaps it was something that should be suspected. After all, she mentioned a name that triggered the turmoil he faced afterwards. It was agony to his ears hearing such a forgotten name. It wouldn’t be unwise to guess that Kaneki was the name of his past self, even if he was Haise now.

And if that was the case, then that would therefore suggest that this ghoul had known him in his past life. It would explain the nostalgia that overwhelmed him during their fight. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious. In truth, he dreamt of meeting her again each and every night since. Perhaps it was Kaneki’s own thoughts being projected, considering how in these dreams, he saw a slightly different version of this Rabbit ghoul. She was younger, her hair was darker and she was dressed in a high school uniform. And her smile - it was her smile that left him yearning for her. It was as if Haise was staring at a photograph, unable to make out what any of it was supposed to be, whilst still being drawn to the pictures he saw. He wanted to reach out and…

He tried his hardest to rid himself of these thoughts. Considering the circumstances, he had no time to think about a past that wasn’t his own to claim. He had other people, people he knew and loved, to cater for. Even thinking such thoughts sent a backlash of resistance, but he refused to give in. Not again. He needed to learn to forget and move on, for the sake of others if not himself. 

Before attending a meeting with the other investigators, he decided that it was best to relax himself by taking his underlings to a new cafe. It was a hobby of his and he hoped it would be enough to take his mind off these growing concerns. Mutsuki and Shirazu followed behind him as he wandered down the streets of Tokyo. It was an area he hadn’t visited before and already he was intrigued by the new aroma of coffee that wavered nearby. If there was one thing that didn’t bring him shame in being a ghoul, it was the fact that he was able to detect these more subtle, delicious smells. It would seem that this one in particular caught his interest.

It was almost too difficult to describe, but the fragrance almost soothed him, both mind and spirit. After all the turmoil he faced recently, he couldn’t deny that he was enthusiastic to find the source of wherever this scent originated from. What he found was a cafe called Re:. It was like any other cafe, really, but entering the shop was in itself a relaxing experience. It might’ve been the warm lighting, or the tranquil silence that allowed for an escape from the busy streets outside. Whatever it was, it felt like home, as strange as that may be. 

They stood for a moment, waiting to be served, but the only employee, a man with a goatee and grey hair, stood still behind the counter. His eyes were wide, as if he were staring at three ghosts, and Haise and the others waited awkwardly, unsure whether to approach him or not. From a distance came a voice and Haise was hit with an abrupt force. It was the same sensation he had experienced a few days ago with the Rabbit ghoul.

A woman, a waitress, appeared from a doorway. She was complaining to the other employee, but her voice seemed muffled as Haise caught sight of her face. It was her. Her voice, her bright eyes - he was certain of it. His heart began to throb, pounding loudly against his ears. She seemed to notice too when she neared, her voice fading off into silence. They spent a moment silently staring at one another, both completely taken away by this new and sudden situation they found themselves in. 

Shirazu and Mutsuki looked awkwardly between the two, confused as to the strange reactions the two had towards one another. “Hey, Sassan!” Shirazu waved his hand over Haise’s face and he shook his head. “You know each other or something?”

Haise remained silent, his stomach twisting and turning with the panicked thoughts that rushed through his head. “I thought she was someone I’ve seen before.” He raised a hand to his chin, laughing awkwardly. “Sorry. My bad.”

“No, it’s okay. I had the same thought, in fact.” Her voice was calm and whatever alarm she showed before was no longer apparent in her smiling expression. “May I take your order?”

After they said their orders, she took them to a spare table and Haise watched her back as she walked away to the counter. His hands clutched at his knees beneath the table, his nails digging into his skin. She was definitely the ghoul he saw the other day, the one he battled against. To think that he’d find her in a random cafe a few days later, working like any other waitress. He wanted to laugh at the tragedy of it all - what was he supposed to do? Ordinarily, you would act on this opportunity to expose and terminate her, yet such thoughts only added to the ongoing conflict in his thoughts. 

The voice, Kaneki’s voice, continued to whisper, even now. Whoever this girl was, she was important to him and despite his role and position as Haise, he couldn’t help but indulge Kaneki’s protective desires. Whenever he looked at this woman’s face, he was overwhelmed by the urgent need to keep her safe. And still, she threatened both him and his squad with the power and skills that could possibly endanger more. In the end, there was no real reasoning in him protecting a woman he couldn’t even remember. Even so, she was clearly content in continuing this act they’re playing, so perhaps she too wanted to avoid conflict. That shouldn’t change the fact that she was a ghoul, though. It was all too fucked up. 

His thoughts were interrupted with his coffee being placed in front of him. He looked up and his eyes met with hers. He was ashamed to think such thoughts, especially with the intense situation they were both in, but a part of him couldn’t deny the strong yearning he felt towards her. A part of him couldn’t help but admire the beauty in her slightly curled hair, her small smile and big, glistening eyes. Kaneki’s voice, the whisper that always remained at the back of his mind, turned soft. With the nostalgic fragrance of the coffee he held in his hands, Kaneki’s words became all the more clear.

“Touka-chan.” 

Everyone was silent for a moment and Touka winced at the sound of her name. Haise’s eyes narrowed and he turned his head away, his hand rubbing his head. “Sorry. I don’t know why I said that just now.” He laughed awkwardly once again, his laughter more strained and less subtle. 

“So you do know her?” Shirazu asked, attempting to make the atmosphere a little less tense. “Man, to think you know such pretty women-”

“Ah, I’m sorry, but,” Touka bowed, a slight blush on her cheeks, “I’m afraid that’s not my name. You really must have me mistaken for someone else. I’m terribly sorry.”

Whilst Mustuki and Shirazu laughed it off, Haise playing along, he flinched at the lie she told and for some reason, tears threatened to fall from his eyes. Or perhaps it wasn’t a lie. He couldn’t be sure and all the while, Kaneki’s voice faded back into an eerie silence, as if he too was wounded by the words this woman had spoken. He raised the mug, trying hard to keep his hands steady, and he tasted the coffee. 

The taste on its own was enough for the tears to finally fall. He blinked hard, apologising some more whilst wiping it away. Touka, if that was truly her name, offered a small handkerchief, hiding her own pain with a sympathetic smile. When she turned to leave them be, he was certain that he could see tears in her eyes too. 

They left soon after, Shirazu teasing Haise on his strange reactions. He could only offer weak excuses to his behaviour; in truth, he wasn’t exactly sure how he could explain whatever it was he was going through. Not even Arima or Akira could help him at this point, not without harming Touka. The part of him that was still a CCG investigator knew that was the best outcome to all his issues, but he feared the overwhelming pain it’d bring him. 

Was this his punishment, he wondered, for trying to reject the side of him that was once himself. Was he simply suffering the consequences of neglecting the voice that was once his own? It made sense that this would be the karma he’d have to face for playing house in someone else’s body. No, it was his body. He was Haise and regardless of anything else, that still remained. So why were these emotions and memories intruding his own thoughts and feelings. 

At the very least, it was clear that he won’t be able to reach a conclusion to any of these thoughts, or rather, there was no conclusion to reach to begin with. Even so, Haise wanted, needed, some answers to clarify this tangle of thoughts he was facing. With Touka’s position and identity exposed, it surely won’t be long before she moves somewhere where Haise’s eyes can’t reach. If so, he’d have to meet with her again soon.

That evening, Haise went out with the excuse that he was going to buy some more coffee. On the journey towards the cafe, he attempted to calm himself down with a list of excuses for why he was doing all this. He was going there to make sure that she was the Rabbit ghoul. He was going there to check what her name was. He was going there so he can rest easy tonight. He was going there for some coffee. Deep down, however, he knew what he really wanted to do was to meet her, to talk to her without the prying eyes and ears of others. He wanted to believe that these were his own actions and thoughts alone, though he knew Kaneki’s voice had more influence than he cared to admit. 

The blue sky faded into a pastel pink, a tint of orange peeking out through the gaps of the city’s skyscrapers and buildings. As it gradually turned into a darker shade of purple and gold, he was reminded of the hypnotic sight of her kagune. It was as beautiful as it was fearsome.

Just like her. 

He paused and looked to his side to see Re:. Touka was walking around the cafe, wiping the tables and placing the chairs on top. There was a more stern look on her face - a troubled, irritated frown, her hair pinned back to reveal the side of her face that was hidden before. When she looked up, she caught sight of Haise. Unsure on what to do and with his heart racing, he raised his hand to offer a small and pitiful wave. She seemed uncomfortable at first, her eyes darting to the ground and her lips pressed into a thin line, but she eventually moved to the door, walking outside to meet him.

Haise was about to say something, anything really, to excuse his presence, until she spoke up first. “Do you want to come inside? It’s getting cold and I can give you a coffee before I close the cafe.” She spoke her words a little too quickly, and there was a sharp undertone beneath her kind offer. Perhaps she was hoping for him to say no, but Haise nodded, somewhat dumbfounded. She stepped aside to allow him inside first and she followed behind, flipping the door sign before she moved behind the counter. 

She already started making the coffee before Haise could make his order, though he suspected that she must have already known what his order was going to be. There was no smile this time, just a look of exhaustion, as if she was no longer willing to keep up the thinly veiled facade of a clueless, human waitress. To her, it must seem like that with Haise’s appearance, this was the end of the road. He, on the other hand, wasn’t entirely sure if that was the path he was willing to take. 

“I guess you recognise me, then.” Her voice was calm once again, more melancholy if anything. “You even remembered my name. Touka Kirishima.” Haise watched silently as she poured his coffee into a cup, her movements steady and careful. Her eyes looked up and his cheeks grew warm. “But,” she handed him his coffee, “do you remember me?”

He looked down into his coffee, his lips pressed together. His eyes narrowed whilst staring at his warped reflection and Touka waited patiently for his response. “I…” He sighed. “I’m not Kaneki. I’m Haise Sasaki. Rank one investigator in the CCG. Saying that, I…” 

A lump rose up in his throat and suddenly, speaking was all too difficult. He waited for her to respond, to attack him and make her escape, to scream and demand for him to return his body back to Kaneki. Instead, she waited and she made herself her own coffee, as if this were a simple conversation for her.

“Saying that, I was able to recognise you. I’m afraid I can’t remember you beyond your name, but there are times when I see images of us, together, years ago.” He rubbed the back of his head, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “I also remember you from a few days ago, when we battled together.”

She placed down the kettle and took a sip from her coffee, sighing with what sounded like satisfaction. “You really made it tough, you know.” She smirked and she leaned against the counter. “I really tried not to hurt you too badly, but you’re always too passionate when it comes to protecting others. I’m glad that you didn’t change in that regard.”

She spoke as if Haise were an old friend and in a sense, that was exactly what he was to her, or so he assumed. The way she talked so casually, as if her life wasn’t being threatened right now, relaxed him. All the confusion he faced up until this moment all seemed trivial now. He wanted this all to be trivial, to be a simple misunderstanding. He wanted to know her without the fear and conflict of his duties and past life. 

“Haise, you don’t need to worry.” Touka placed a hand on top of his. “You don’t need to feel pressured to do anything. This was all my fault - I shouldn’t have gotten involved in your investigation to begin with. I didn’t intend to become involved in your new life, not at all, but I guess I messed up. I’m sorry-”

“No!” He took her hand and placed it between his, Haise not exactly sure which part of him was speaking now. “No matter what, I’m glad I got to see you. I want to know about you more.” The words tumbled out of his mouth, bit by bit, but he wanted to let it all out. It was too agonising at this point. “This has been really worrying to me and I’m still very much confused, but I don’t want to see this as one big mistake. Not anymore, at least.”

“I’m not Kaneki anymore, but a part of him is still within me. I can’t just forget you, Tou- Kirishima-san. And though it frightens me, I feel like I need to start accepting him. However, I can’t do that if I don’t know anything about him.” Touka stared, silent in response and Haise bowed his head, his voice now quiet and small. “Please, I don’t know why, but you’re important to him and I can’t help but want to know you better because of this.”

Touka pulled her hand back and she brought it to her chest. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes turned glazed with tears. She let out an exasperated laugh, wiping away her tears before they called fall, and she wavered in her step for a moment. Watching her, Haise felt a deep pressure in his chest, a sensation that left him restless in his seat. 

“You don’t understand, Sasaki-san. I’m glad you don’t remember.” His eyes widened and then narrowed, confused. “Kaneki, he…What he went through wasn’t something worth remembering. Him repressing his own memories - to do such a thing, it must’ve been too much to bear. I wish I could’ve helped you more and I just keep thinking, why didn’t I just welcome you back on that stupid bridge?”

Haise watched her image flicker from a cafe waitress to a high school girl, with longer hair and a pained frown. It wasn’t too different to how she was now. 

“Seeing you with new family, new friends and people to rely on, was relieving to me. I really am glad, even if it hurts.”

“I don’t understand, Kirishima-san. Don’t you want Kaneki back?”

“Of course I do. After all, I…” She bit her lip and straightened. “This is all so strange. You sound and act like him and yet, I cannot call you by the same name.” Haise wanted to say something, to perhaps tell her that he was still the same, but of course, that wasn’t the case. “Sasaki-san, I’m really glad we had this talk, but I must ask you that we never bring this up again.” She turned to leave and Haise reached out for her, almost pleading her name. “You should finish the coffee before it gets cold.”

She disappeared around the corner, leaving him alone in an empty cafe. He, too, felt incredibly empty. He wondered if visiting her answered any of his questions and in a way, it provided him all the knowledge he needed. All the while, he only felt more astray, as if he only lost something from this exchange. 

I just wanted to talk to her. Just for a bit longer. 

Haise took a sip of his coffee. It was bitter. It was delicious. It wasn’t a taste he could recognise anymore.


End file.
